How to Stay Sexually Pure

When most people think about the story of King David, they think about two major incidences–his conquering of Goliath and his being conquered by lust. The story of David gives us great insight into what causes the downfall in sexual purity and how to steer clear of certain paths that lead to temptations.

What David’s Life Teaches About Purity

1. Obey God’s Instructions

We see in the book of Deuteronomy 17:14-17 that David disobeyed God before he fell into sexual sin with Bathsheba. God had told kings not to gather a lot of gold, horses, or wives (2 Samuel 8:4). David did well with not collecting too much gold or horses, but he didn’t listen when it came to wives. He thought having many wives showed he was rich and could take care of them, but this was actually the beginning of his problems (2 Samuel 5:12-13).

When we take a closer look at David’s life, we see that he had a constant desire for more women, even though he already had wives. Acquiring “more” doesn’t satisfy lust.

David and Solomon are great examples of this erroneous thinking. Just like them, so many people believe, “If I could only have that person, my desire would be satisfied.” However that is not how the issue is solved, that’s only how the problem begins.

David had 8 wives. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, that’s 1000 women! And still, it wasn’t enough. You and I cannot satisfy lust because it’s never enough, it always wants more.

Love satisfies, and lust intensifies. The more sexual immorality you partake in, the more intense it becomes. David disregarded God’s commandment, and his lust intensified, which led to his downfall.

2. Doing Nothing Can Be Dangerous

Another thing we notice is that at a crucial moment in life, David was idle (2 Sam 11:1).

On this occasion, the Bible tells us that David got into trouble when he decided to stay home instead of going to battle like kings usually did in the spring. The Lord had called David to fight the Philistines; David was anointed by the Lord to be on the battlefield, not in the palace during times of battle.  

Many times, we find ourselves in a similar situation in the area of sexual purity. We end up looking for intimacy outside of marriage due to boredom because we are not involved in the things God called us to do. Boredom can lead to sexual immorality. This is where the trap lies for many. Instead of being productive, they lay around doing nothing and satan takes advantage of that boredom to introduce his agenda to that individual’s life.

Find the balance in your life. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide your mind. You don’t want to be too bored, that you are led into traps, and you don’t want to be too busy that you’re ignoring the Holy Spirit’s beckoning for your time.

3. Watch Where You Look

2 Samuel 11:2, teaches us that when David saw Bathsheba bathing, he didn’t look away.

Instead, he goes a step further and begins to inquire about who she is. But instead of stopping after find out out she was a wife, David is tempted by his eyes to continue pursuing. Intimacy with somebody else always starts in the mind; sin comes in through our eyes and then settles in the mind. Satan cannot plant lustful or adulterous thoughts in our imagination until there is an open door.

That open door is either your eyes or your ears; for most men, it’s their eyes and for most women, it’s their ears. We have to protect our sexual purity by protecting our eyes because they’re gates the enemy can use to plant lustful seeds in our hearts.  

Men should control their eyes and learn to bounce them. And women should pay attention to the way they dress. If you don’t dress modestly, the chances of you attracting someone who battles with lust are much higher. Men who are dominated by lust will turn their heads when a woman is dressed provocatively, but those who walk in love, bounce their eyes because they have learned to value things that go beyond that.

4. Have A Grateful Heart

As the story of David continues, we see that God blessed David abundantly, yet we have insight into his lack of contentment because he coveted what another had (2 Samuel 12:7-9). The Lord even tells David that if all he had was not enough, He could have given David more.

David had an ungrateful heart.

The truth is that lust makes you feel unsatisfied with what you have. At times, it may be tempting to feel as though life would be better with someone else, but secrecy feeds the lust. If you fall into that lie, not only will you be throwing away everything that God has given you but it shows an ungrateful heart towards God.

5. Don’t Take What is Not Yours

In this well known story, David stole what was not his (2 Samuel 12:1-4). He took Uriah’s wife for himself. It’s interesting to note that in the account of this incident in 2 Samuel, Bathsheba is referred to as the wife of Uriah until the death of the child she had with David. Afterward, she was mentioned by her name–Bathsheba.  

Why?

Because she did not belong to David, she was Uriah’s wife; David took something that was not his. In the same way, when we disregard our sexual purity and watch pornography or engage in sex outside of the covenant of marriage, we are taking something that does not belong to us.

6. Admit When You’re Wrong

The Lord sees your sexual life and it can either be pleasing or displeasing to Him. Sexual purity is not just abstaining from a physical act, it affects our spirituality and connection to God.

Remember reading about David prior to this? How he was such a faithful servant of the Lord and refused to kill Saul? It seems as though we’re seeing a different man. Here, we see how cold and wicked the heart of a man can be when it takes the wife of another and then kills her husband to cover it up. Nobody caught him for about a year. During that year we can only imagine how his consciousness disturbed him. His connection to God was broken, he had lost the joy of his salvation, and his heart had become dark and callous (Psalm 51).

The sweet psalmist of Israel had become a monster, murderer, and adulterer.

That’s exactly what sin does to us. If we allow sin in, especially sexual sin, it corrupts our purity and destroys us. It opens doors to demons by allowing other sins to creep in also. Sexual sin turns us into the people we never thought we’d become and makes us do what we never imagined we’d be capable of doing.

David was not judged for his sin; he was judged by his sin. As a Christian, the same applies to you, when you are forgiven of your sin you must understand that there will be repercussions. Your relationships will be affected, not all will be restored, the sicknesses you incur through your sin may not disappear, and your finances may also suffer.

God is merciful to forgive and reconcile our relationship with Him, but the process of restoration is painful many times.

Final Thoughts

If you are reading this and living in sexual sin, whether you are single, engaging in fornication, or married and committing adultery, God wants to forgive you.

If you confess your sin and repent, God will pardon you. However, know that there will be consequences brought upon by your sin because sin damages your life. It leaves scars.

There are benefits to obeying God from the beginning. Submitting to the Lord outweighs the pleasures that sin offers. You can play with sin now and pay a price later, or you can pay the price of surrender now and enjoy walking in peace with God for the rest of your life.

I want to invite you to repentance and restoration.

I would like to encourage you to not give up in the process of restoration, regardless of how painful it may seem; God is developing you. It’s not judgment because God judged Jesus on the cross for us, but it’s discipline. God is developing godly character in us through the process of dealing with the natural consequences of our sins.

Stay pure, walk in holiness, and keep sex for marriage with your spouse.

God bless you.

Read: Why Living Together Before Marriage is a Bad Idea