8 Things God Expects From a Husband

Within the context of marriage, there is a great weight of responsibility that is laid out for husbands. When they choose to live by God’s standards, they not only walk in their calling but will experience a blessing from God on their marriage. Here are a few things that the Bible mentions.

1. He Must Pursue God

When God made Adam, He placed him in the garden, gave him instructions on what to not do, and then Eve was introduced (Gen 2:15-17).

For a husband to be the head of the family unit and be a blessing, he must first submit to the headship of Christ.

In the beginning, we see that God spoke to the ground and it produced plants. When He spoke to the sea, fish were created. With man, God speaks to Himself and humankind is created.

In other words, because we came from God, we need a relationship with Him in order to live the life He designed for us. The primary goal of every husband should be to pursue Jesus. That does not mean that the husband must automatically be “more spiritual” than his wife, but it does mean that there must be a recognition of his need for God and the Word.

2. He Must Be a provider

When God places Adam in the garden, it was not just to experience His presence, but to tend to the garden. God gives Adam a job.

In 1 Timothy 5:8, Paul says that he who does not provide for his home is worse than an unbeliever. From the beginning, we don’t see clear or explicit instructions for a wife to work. Now there is nothing wrong with a wife working, but in the beginning, we see that the responsibility of providing was placed on the husband.

It’s important that husbands provide for their homes and give their wives the freedom to raise the children, build the home, and choose to work if she desires.

3. He must be Proactive

Genesis 2:24 talks about a man leaving his parents and joining his wife. According to this verse, the man takes the initiative, not the woman. One of the biggest challenges that men face is passivity. I like to refer to that as the Ahab-syndrome. It’s the desire to take the back seat while the wife takes the reins.

Often, the only thing that many men love to initiate is sex, but when it comes to bringing up goals, dreams, date nights, or prospects, they struggle. If that’s you, I’d like to encourage you to go to the Lord concerning this topic. Ask Him to personally guide you so that you may be able to guide your family effectively.

Being proactive is as simple as going to the store and buying flowers, saying I love you, or making gestures that indicate to your wife that you’re thinking of her. Don’t wait for the complaints to come, act a few steps ahead.

4. he must be the pastor of His Family

The Bible days that the head of every man is Christ and the head of every woman is her husband (1 Corinthians 11:3).

A husband should lead his family and his wife closer to Jesus.

In the story of the fall, Eve was deceived and Adam disobeyed (Genesis 3:9). When God confronted the sin, He addressed Adam for the mistakes that were originally caused by his wife. This gives us a good insight that God doesn’t expect a woman to be the pastor of the home; instead, the responsibility lies on the husband.

A wife could pray more, read the Bible more, and even hear more YouTube Sermons than her husband, but the spiritual role still lies on the husband. If as a husband you don’t feel spiritually “qualified” to lead, I want to encourage you that taking the responsibility will only bring blessing on your home. You don’t need a theological degree to lead them, you just need to love Jesus, encourage your family to go with you to church, have family devotions, and teach them in the ways of God.

5. he must Walk in Purity

In Job 31:1, when he is talking about purity, Job is not saying that he never notices a woman, but rather that he has made a decision to not stare and behold a woman with lust. Men often struggle with this temptation because of their visual nature.

If we don’t set boundaries in our own life with our own eyes, we will fall and damage our family, compromise our character, and bring shame to the name of Jesus.

As men, we need to protect our mind. The best way to do that is to protect our eyes; the Bible says that our eyes are the windows of our soul (Luke 11:34). We need to make sure that our heart is also protected from believing lies that “The grass is greener on the other side.” Don’t allow the enemy to plant those seeds within your heart because it will give way to flirtatious behavior that can open the door for satan to damage your life and your marriage for years to come.

Avoid talking to the opposite sex about your marital issues, and above all, water your grass (invest into your marriage). Be intentional about going on dates, about growing, and investing into your marriage.

6. he must be Perceptive

By this I mean that a husband should study his wife. He should perceive her dreams, fears, wants, and needs.

Why is that important? In 1 Peter 3:7, the Bible tells husbands to dwell with wives with understanding. In order to properly do that, a husband must understand that she is wired very differently. Take time to learn who she is, and instead of trying to change her constantly, learn to understand the way God made her.

7. he must be a protector

In the same verse mentioned above (1 Peter 3:7), it mentions that the wife is the weaker vessel. Weaker indicates that the male is actually the weak one.

Now, being the weaker vessel should not be offensive. It’s not referring to a woman being “less than” her husband. Instead, it is implying the care that the wife requires is greater than that of the husband.

Men should never use their physical strength advantageously to abuse or harm the wives.

8. he must Be Passionate

Ephesians 5:25-26, 28 deals with a husband loving his wife. The challenge with loving her is that Scripture never says that your love should be based on her behavior. It never says to love your wife as she loves you.

Your love and affection should not be based on her treatment towards you or even on your current emotions–your standard is based on what Jesus did for you.

One thing I’ve come to notice is that while many husbands say they love their wives, wives often say they don’t “feel” loved by them. Why is that?

Demonstrating love towards your wife in the manner that you think is best often does not translate well. Instead, learn what she would like you to do so that she can feel loved by you.

This will be the key to making her feel secure and cherished in your marriage.

Read: Marriage is More Than a Paper