Is Virginity a Made-Up Concept?

Recently I watches a video called, “What is Virginity?” where a woman dressed up as a teacher claiming that virginity is discriminatory against people who are not heterosexual. In fact, the video, from Planned Parenthood’s YouTube channel, suggests that virginity is a completely made-up concept meant to control and shame people, mainly women.

So what does the Bible truly say about the concept of virginity?

Why Virginity is Important

Virginity is the state of never having had sexual intercourse. I want to start off by saying that it is not a concept made up by people to control and shame others. Rather, we see in the Bible that from the beginning, God created man and woman to be one, which happens during sexual intercourse and physical intimacy (Gen. 2:24). The Bible indicates that the only person you should see naked is your spouse.

Virginity is important because it aligns with God’s design for marriage and physical intimacy. It is a gift to your future marriage, showing respect for God, yourself, and your future mate.

Virginity is something you willingly surrender to each other with true love after being married. It is God’s design, and believing in virginity means trusting that God is not withholding something good from you. This concept was never about shame or guilt; it’s about trusting in God’s plan for your good.

Remember, once surrendered, virginity cannot be recovered.

The Effects of Losing Virginity

Contrary to the claim that promoting virginity shames people, I believe that losing virginity often results in feelings of guilt, regret, and remorse. Additional consequences include sexually transmitted diseases, habitual yielding to sexual temptation, unwanted pregnancy, loss of reputation, hurried weddings or adoption decisions, abortion temptations, forced planning for the future, being a single parent, being a high school dropout, low-paying jobs, need for welfare support, and a broken intimacy with God.

The notion of “try it before you buy it” is harmful because it encourages people to engage in sexual relationships before marriage, which can lead to emotional bonds, potential diseases, and other negative consequences. Experience in sexual relationships is not necessary before marriage. I encourage you to wait. Marriage is a lifetime where you get to develop that experience with your spouse.

Walking in Purity

If you want to live a pure life and keep yourself sexually pure for your future spouse, reject the idea of “try it before you buy it.” It’s important for you to understand that sex is not just physical; it is emotional and spiritual, leaving an imprint on your soul. Sex outside of marriage distorts judgment, twists relationships, and warps focus.

Sex is like superglue; if a couple has sex and then separates, they will suffer significant pain which can create unhealthy attachments and regrets.

How to Walk in Purity

If you are currently in a relationship or looking for advice for the coming years, here are five simple things to keep in mind to walk in purity:

1. Stay Full of God’s Word: Psalm 119:11 – “Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You.”
2. Make a Bold Decision: Job 31:1 – “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.”
3. Walk Daily in the Holy Spirit: Galatians 5:16 – “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
4. Avoid Temptation: 2 Timothy 2:22 – “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.”
5. Commit to Purity Even After Marriage: Keep self-control, as the Holy Spirit empowers you to do so.

I would encourage you to reject what Planned Parenthood says about virginity. Instead view it through the lens of Scripture. It is God’s gift to your future spouse, so Honor God, your future spouse, your body, and the Holy Spirit. Set a good precedent for self-control and living by God’s truth.

The only thing worse than waiting to have sex is wishing you had kept your virginity.

Read: Can Your Marriage be Blessed if You’re Not a Virgin?