Mentally Prep for Marriage

What makes someone ready for marriage? Is it about what someone has or who they are? If you’re in the season of life where you’re wondering this question, here are a few things to think about.

What Does it Take?

When I take a look around at culture, I see a lot of boys who think they’re men, when they haven’t truly matured.

Anybody can be a boyfriend, but it takes a man to become a husband.

In this day and age, boys are quickly becoming boyfriends, and then they decide to take the next step and live together instead of maturing and committing to marriage.

There’s a certain maturity that takes place when the commitment is made not only to date someone but to take them to the altar. Many men can say, “I love you,” but when it comes to true commitment, they get cold feet.

As a man, part of your maturity is shown when you make the commitment to make that woman your wife.

Men must mature to take that step, and meanwhile, women must prepare themselves as well in maturity. They must become godly women who are able to care for their husbands and their homes. Once the commitment to marriage is made, here are three things, aside from being God-fearing individuals, that can ensure a healthy marriage.

Read: 4 Myths of Marriage

3 Components to Have a Successful Marriage

1. Commitment

Every successful marriage has three compartments to it. The first one is commitment. Commit to marriage for life. When you enter into this covenant, divorce should never be in your mind, much less in your mouth. When you decide to make your marriage permanent, all your problems will be temporary.

2. Communication

As you’ve probably heard, communication is one of the most important things in any relationship, but especially in marriage. Oftentimes, when people are dating, communication seems to come easy, but when they get married it comes as a miracle! Fight to have good communication. Read books, receive counseling, find a mentor–do whatever it takes to develop this area in your marriage. It’ll only be a blessing when this area is strengthened.

Do whatever it takes to have good communication in your marriage.

3. Confrontation

Every marriage, in order to be healthy, has to have confrontation–conflict. It’s not possible to have a good marriage without disagreements. Disagreements are needed and they’re not a bad thing. It’s a sign that you are both contributing to the relationship in the different ways that God has created you. The only problem is when couples begin to see disagreements as a sign that their marriage is unhealthy, or when it becomes violent, physically and/or verbally.

It gets dangerous when people don’t know how to communicate to get their point across, and instead, when they are unsuccessful, they begin to threaten divorce. This kind of fighting destroys your character and will lead to the destruction of your marriage. This behavior has repercussions far beyond just the dissolution of your marriage. It goes on to become a generational curse. Especially if children are watching as their parents argue, they’re subconsciously learning how to talk and treat a significant other.

Final Thoughts

As you’re preparing your mind and your life for marriage, remember that maturity and spirituality are not just going to church and learning how to preach or to prophesy. Instead, it is seen practically in the way you learn to communicate, resolve conflict, and love others. When you learn to honor your husband, you’re learning to be spiritual. When you learn to love your wife, you’re learning to be spiritual. When you learn to manage your home in a way where the peace of God resides in it, you’re learning to be spiritual.

Living spiritually should affect every area of our lives. As you seek guidance from the Lord for your future marriage, I pray you would keep these 3 keys in mind.