A Covenant Marriage

I believe that some marriages reflect the kingdom of God, while others mirror the kingdom of darkness. When we look at Scripture, we see that a marriage made in hell follows the example of Ahab and Jezebel, while a marriage made in heaven reflects the unity of the Trinity.

Understanding the difference between a contract and a covenant marriage is key to building a marriage that honors God and stands the test of time.

Contract vs. Covenant Marriage

Contract Marriage: This is about protecting your rights, limiting your responsibilities, and safeguarding your interests.

Covenant Marriage: This is about laying down your rights, increasing your responsibilities, and safeguarding the interests of your spouse.

1. Marriage is not just a covenant with your spouse, it’s the covenant with God.

It’s important to understand that marriage is not just a covenant with your spouse; it is a covenant with God (Ecclesiastes 4:12). When you enter a covenant marriage, God becomes the third strand in that union. Therefore, it’s important to remember that breaking a marriage covenant is not just breaking a promise to your spouse; it is breaking a covenant with God (Malachi 2:14).

2. The marriage covenant demands the death of two wills to birth one.

Next, we must understand that a covenant marriage demands the death of two wills (Proverbs 2:17). Every covenant in the Bible required blood and sacrifice and our marriage is no different. In fact, this covenant requires dying to self to build unity. Marriage is a funeral of ego, pride, and self-interest. Yet, in dying to self, there is resurrection—a joy and fulfillment found in laying down one’s rights for the good of the other.

3. In contractual marriage, my actions are reactions to yours; in covenantal marriage, my actions are in response to Christ.

Lastly, remember that in a contractual marriage, actions that we take are typically reactions to our spouse’s behavior. However, it should be noticeably different when our commitment is different. In a covenant marriage, actions are in response to Christ. The Bible makes it clear stating, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

Final Thoughts

Marriage is a sacred institution established by God. I want to encourage you to not follow cultures perception on what marriage should be, but rather allow God to guide your thinking and worldview in this area.

A covenant marriage is not just between two people; it includes God. For it to thrive, both spouses must die to themselves. If they refuse, the marriage will suffer.

Although we are prone to make mistakes, repentance and the work of the Holy Spirit will transform hearts and strengthen your marriage.

Read: Debunking the 5 Myths of Marriage