11 Signs That He’s The One

Choosing who you will spend the rest of your life with is an important decision and must be carefully thought about. Here are a few guidelines that we find in Scripture as well as the input from a woman’s perspective (my wife) that can help you discern if he’s a good match for you.

Key Signs to Look For

1. His Friends Are Mature and Respectable Men

Proverbs 13:20 says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wiser, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Similarly, 1 Corinthians 15:33 states, “Do not be deceived: bad company ruins good morals.” There’s a common saying: show me your five closest friends, and I’ll tell you who you are. You can tell a lot about someone by who they associate with.

A good question to ask yourself is: Do you admire his friends? Are they good, godly men who encourage him to be upright and godly? Or are they immature, lazy, or untrustworthy? If you don’t trust his friends, you may want to be cautious because he could be just like them.

2. Your Close Friends and Family Approve of Him

While your family and friends won’t make your decisions for you, it’s wise to listen to the advice of people you respect. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people fall, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to overlook red flags due to infatuation.

3. He Is Kind to Those Around Him

Next, take some time to observe how he treats people like his mother, sisters, or strangers. Is he patient and respectful, or does he become irritated easily? Does he help others in need, or is he self-centered? A kind man will treat everyone—including you—with respect and care.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.” This is an important virtue in someone you’re looking to spend your life with.

4. He Doesn’t Change Depending on Who’s Around

Titus 2:7 states, “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity and dignity.” Take time to evaluate if he the same person around everyone? Does he act differently when he’s with certain friends. If you feel insecure because he seems inconsistent in behavior, that’s a warning sign.

5. He Actively Pursues You

While times are changing, it’s still natural for a man to pursue a woman. Women love to feel desired and valued. Men enjoy the thrill of the chase. You deserve to feel like a prized possession that a man works hard to earn. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a man to put in effort to pursue you. If he makes you feel like you need to chase him, he’s probably not the one for you.

6. He Doesn’t Compare You to Others

Matthew 5:28 says, “Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Ask yourself if he compares you to other women. Does he talk about his “ideal woman” as if you were not it or go on about how you could improve? If so, that’s a red flag. A godly man should make you feel like you’re perfect just the way you are and that his eyes are only for you.

7. He Has Earned Your Trust

Trust should always be earned, not freely given. If he’s consistent in who he is and honest, trust will naturally grow over time. But if he acts suspicious, is secretive, or is uncomfortable when you touch his phone, those are signs that you should be cautious about.

8. He Respects You

A man who respects you will make you feel valued and empowered. Disrespectful behaviors include talking over you, pressuring you to do things you’re uncomfortable with, or making jokes at your expense. If he respects you, he will honor your boundaries, listen to your opinions, and support your goals.

9. His Actions Speak Louder Than His Words

Jeremiah 9:23 says, “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches.” John 3:18 adds, “Let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” It’s important to remember that actions always speak louder than words. If he is constantly boasting about himself, be cautious. A good man will show his character through his actions.

10. He Is Secure in His Faith in God

The Bible also says in Hebrews 11:6 that, “Without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him.” If he is not secure in his walk with the Lord, that should be a reason for concern. According to 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” Your potential spouse should be grounded in his faith, so you can both grow together in your spiritual journey.

11. He Is Secure in Who He Is

A wise man with leadership qualities will make a steady and supportive partner.

Ephesians 4:14 warns against being “tossed back and forth by the waves and blown here and there by every wind of teaching.” You want a man who is stable and secure in himself and in his identity in Christ.

Final Thoughts

If you desire to marry someone, I would encourage you to pray about it.

If a man doesn’t love God, it will be hard for him to love you in the way God intended. Trust in the Lord’s timing, and never settle for less than His best for you.

Read: Are They The One?