Why You Should Wait to Have Sex

In our culture, the idea of losing your virginity at a young age seems to be promoted and oftentimes praised. Although it is widely accepted in our day, the Scripture makes it clear that waiting until marriage is God’s will for those who are single. He desires for us to live a sexually pure life outside of the context of marriage. 

Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Hebrews 13:4

I believe that one of the reasons people are so willing to give up their virginity is because they have not been taught, or have not fully understood its importance and value. Your virginity is the best gift you can bring into your marriage, and by choosing to keep it you respect God, yourself, and your spouse. I want to share a few reasons why you should value your virginity and wait until marriage.

Truths to Keep In Mind: 

Virginity is God’s Designs

The first lie that Satan planted into Eve’s head was that God was withholding good things from her.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.

Genesis 3:1-5

God’s intention with placing this limit on sex, was never to withhold something good from you, instead, He placed this limit to help prevent anything bad from happening to you outside of marriage. 

One quote says, 

“There is nothing in the law of God that will rob you of happiness; it only denies you that which would cost you sorrow.”

Charles Spurgeon

It’s important to not only understand but to believe that God is not withholding anything good from you. Scripture tells us that God is a good God and contrary to what the culture may be promoting, when you keep yourself sexually pure you are rejecting the devil’s lie and understanding that God’s intention with this restriction is to bless your marriage and protect each individual from unessecary harm. 

For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

Psalms 84:11

Sex is Like Superglue

Sex is like super glue; it supernaturally cements two people together, creating a soul tie that leaves a profound emotional imprint on both souls. The Bible says that when you join with another person intimately you become one flesh.

…And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Mark 10:8

Although your purity can be restored through repentance and faith in Jesus, your virginity is a precious gift that is only intended for your spouse. It’s so special to be intimate with your spouse and not have anyone to compare them to from your past.

Common Effects From the Loss of Virginity

Although there is a temporary pleasure that is felt when you are intimate outside of marriage, there can only be hurt and pain when we disobey God’s will for our lives. Here are some common effects that can occur: 

·  Shame

·  Remorse

·  Regret

·  Sexually Transmitted Diseases

·  Habitually Yielding to Sexual Temptations

·  Unwanted Pregnancy

·  Loss of Reputation

·  Hurried Weddings

·  Adoption Options or Decisions

·  Abortion Temptations

·  Forced Planning of Your Future

·  Being a Single Parent

·  Dropping Out of School

·  Lower Paying Jobs in the Future

·  Need for Welfare or Financial Support  

Click to read: Can Your Marriage be Blessed if You’re Not a Virgin?

Invest Only What You’re Willing to Lose

Abstaining from sex gives you the opportunity to build your relationship on the foundation of friendship and trust. Sexual attraction may diminish over time, but a developed friendship will keep you bonded together even if the physical excitement fades out.

It’s healthy to build a strong relationship with the person you are interested in (in all aspects of your life–socially, emotionally, and spiritually) without sex being involved. When you avoid developing a physical relationship with that person, you are saving yourself from regret.

If the relationship does not work out (you just don’t click or there are just too many things you don’t agree on) you will avoid so much guilt by not fornicating. You will also notice that you will be able to look at that person without awkwardness or discomfort. 

While dating, only invest what you’re willing to lose.

Sex does something that can NOT be undone!

If you don’t abstain from developing a sexual relationship while dating. This will distort your view of that person. You will notice that it will be much harder for you to see clearly, and you will be led by infatuation instead of true love. Sex causes a veil to come over your eyes and you begin to believe things about that person which you want to be true, even though many times they are not. 

Sex can really mess with someone’s perception of the person they are having sex with. Many times, they will not heed to warning signs; in other instances, people are quick to dive into a relationship and even marry a person they are not supposed to be with. Fornication increases your drive for sex, and it will make it so much harder to get out of a relationship that you should not be in. 

Marriage, however, is about more than just sex. It is a companionship and a friendship where you enjoy doing life together. That then develops an intimacy and closeness in the marriage bed. 

Waiting while dating will keep you from developing an unnecessary intimacy and soul tie with someone you’re never going to marry.

Encouragement

Merge after marriage. I encourage you to wait to have sex until you merge your last names.

If you are already in a relationship, make a decision to postpone sex until you enter into the marriage covenant. This will enable you to develop the spiritual principles of a godly marriage. Postpone sex until you present your lives together before God.

Also, fight any temptation that comes your way. You will not regret it. Abstinence alone does not automatically guarantee blessings, but it will lay a solid foundation for your marriage. 

When you practice abstinence you build self-discipline that then creates a greater resistance against the temptation of adultery. As you do so, you will be more resilient against temptations faced in marriage.

5 Practical Steps to Maintain Purity  

1. Stay full of God’s Word.  

Your word I have hidden in my heart so that I might not sin against You.

Psalms 119:11

We see in this Scripture that being full of God’s Word prevents us from falling into sin.

2. Make a bold and conscious decision not to commit sexual sin. 

I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a woman?

Job 31:1

Job made a commitment to guard his eyes in order to not sin against God. Make a decision within your heart to keep yourself pure in every area of your life. 

3. Walk daily in the Holy Spirit so you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 

I say then: walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Galatians 5:16

Take time to be with the Lord in prayer and you will notice that the more you are aware of the Holy Spirit throughout your day, the less likely you are to fall into temptation. 

4. Avoid situations where physical and immoral temptations are present. 

Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

2 Timothy 2:22

Don’t intentionally stay in situations you know can cause your downfall. Be extra cautious, and if possible, surround yourself with godly people who can provide support. 

5. Commit to living a life of purity.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Matthew 5:8

Purity should be kept even after you get married. Purity is for life. Surrender that to the Lord and allow Him to strengthen you in this area.