In life, we can’t avoid experiencing offense. However, the Bible does command us as believers to ensure we are not offending other people (Luke 17:1). How you deal with it when it comes–whether you take offense and let it become a demonic trap or use it as an opportunity to grow—is really up to you.

What’s interesting is that the word “offense” used in the New Testament is scandalon. Scandalon was the trigger of a trap on which bait is placed. When an animal touched the trigger to eat the bait, the trap would spring shut and the animal would get caught. Offense works the same way. Whether the hurt was intentional or not makes no difference—the bait is laid, and if you take it, the trap springs shut, leading to unforgiveness and bitterness. Here is how offense looks and how to overcome it.

The Profile of an Offended Person

1. Entitlement – An offended person feels like they are owed something. They value what they have in themselves and feel like they worked very hard and deserve to be elevated. When they don’t receive what they believe they deserve, they feel rejected and become offended.
2. Pride – Pride makes people blind to their own flaws and causes them to blame others for their downfall. When corrected, they interpret it as, “I messed up again,” rather than seeing it as an opportunity for growth.
3. Focus on Unfairness – Offended people often feel that church leaders and others treat them unfairly. They get hurt when their gifts are not recognized and build resentment. Many times, God allows perceived unfairness to test and refine our character.
4. Control – Offended people often desire to control situations. When they cannot have things their way, they get offended and leave relationships or churches. If they had stayed under strong, anointed leadership that didn’t cater to their selfish ambitions, they would have received the healing they didn’t even realize they needed.

How to Overcome Offense

It blinds you to God’s timing and purpose, keeping you stuck in bitterness instead of moving forward in faith. Here’s how to overcome it.

1. When Your Heart is Hardened, Good Things Happening to You Will Not Change It

First off, it’s important to understand that people whose hearts are hardened by offense think that if their environment changes, they will no longer be offended. But, a hardened heart does not soften just because circumstances improve.

Psalm 95:7-11 and Hebrews repeat the warning: “When you hear my voice, do not harden your heart, as in the day of wilderness, when your fathers saw my works, yet they rebelled against me.” The Israelites saw miracles, yet they remained hardened in their hearts. Even with a great leader like Moses and supernatural provision, their offense remained.

2. Take God Very Seriously, and Stop Taking Yourself Too Seriously

Secondly, know that offended people are often obsessed with themselves. In many cases, they become overly sensitive to what others say but are not sensitive enough to the Holy Spirit. Instead of living in constant offense, we should humble ourselves, focus on God, and learn to live with a servant’s heart.

3. Keep Your Heart Right When Things Are Not Right

Another key step in overcoming offense is understanding that while justice, mercy, and humility are essential, the enemy uses injustice to create offense in our hearts. If things are not right around you, don’t let your heart become sick. You can advocate for change, but never let offense take root.

4. Never Grow Out of Repentance

Next, choose to offer forgiveness to those who have hurt you. I’ve noticed that if you wait too long to forgive, your hurt will turn into bitterness and offense. Unforgiveness will do more damage to you than what others did. Growth in God means constant repentance and humility.

5. Lean Into Awkward Conversations

And lastly, the Bible tells us in Matthew 5:23 that, “If you bring your gift to the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there and first be reconciled.”

In other words, if you know someone is offended at you, it is your responsibility to go to them. Instead of defending yourself, hear them out, affirm their feelings, and take responsibility where necessary. Many relationships have been healed through this approach. Unfortunately, instead of going to the person, people often gossip and build “us versus them” cultures, which only fuels division and offense.

Don’t let Satan trap you; instead, choose to walk away from offense, deny yourself, and follow Jesus. I pray this helps.

Read: How to Intercede