Hurt By The Church? Here’s What To Do

Content by my wife, Lana Savchuk

Don’t leave the church because the church is not perfect. If you do that, you’ll spend your whole life in search of the perfect one, only to feel more and more isolated and lonely. To be healthy as Christians, we must be a part of the community of believers.

The Bible says in Matthew 16:18 that Jesus is building the church and He loves and gave His life for the church (Ephesians 5:25). However, there are times when we’ve been hurt by the church and are struggling. In these cases, here are some tips that can help.

Reasons Why People Don’t Attend Church

Getting hurt by the church doesn’t mean your focus was on people and not on God. You can be focused on God and still get hurt. It’s important to understand that sin and misunderstanding is bound to happen, but there’s also a devil who wants to use the sin of other people to blindside us and shipwreck our faith.

While there are many reasons why people may not attend church, two of the common one’s I have seen fall along these two lines.

They have a need for attention. In these cases, healing is needed. In other cases, the individual believes they have no need for fellowship or community. However, the church is meant to be a place where you find strength in your spiritual walk alongside others who are on the same journey. It’s not meant to be a task you click off, but someone you walk alongside.

While the reasons to keep you away from church may be long, statistics about going to church show that it’s actually really healthy for you in other ways too, not just spiritually.

• More frequent church goers had 55% reduction in all-cause mortality risk compared to non-churchgoers (Vanderbilt University).
• Religiously active older adults tend to have lower blood pressure.
• Regular religious service attendance is associated with 50% lower divorce rate.
• People who regularly attend religious services appear to have a healthier immune system.

Practical Steps to Overcome Church Hurt

1. Go to God in prayer – When you’ve been hurt, it’s important to take time to get God’s perspective on your situation. Spend isolated time in prayer with God about the issue first.
2. Deal with personal offense and sin – We are all sinners saved by grace. You have faults too. Make sure to not be so quick to overlook those.
3. Confront the offender – Next, take time to talk to the person directly, not about them. Don’t talk about them and the issue. Talk to them about the issue. That’s a big difference. One resolves the matter while the other causes resentment.
4. Confide in a faithful friend – Don’t fall for gossip. Do this after you have confronted the offender.
5. Forgive the person who hurt you – Don’t harbor bitterness. Learn to forgive quickly. Go to God and talk to a friend if the issue still has remained after doing the steps above.
6. If necessary, find another church – If serious hurt occurred and leadership didn’t handle it, it may be time to leave and find another church. Seek God’s direction and be let wisdom and His peace guide you.

I pray this gave you some insight and practical steps to begin to release unforgivness and decide to make it back to church. Remember that God can bless you in another church and prosper you in another house. He can use you somewhere else as long as you choose to always release the unforgiveness.

Read: How to Properly Leave a Church