10 Things God Expects Out of A Christian Dad

For many years my wife and I could not have children. However, about a year ago the Lord surprised us and my wife became pregnant and gave birth to our beautiful baby boy, Samuel. Since becoming a father, I have learned so much and grown in more ways than I knew I would. The perspective that is gained after having children has caused my desire to seek the Word more on what it has to say about this unique role. This is what I’ve come to realize.

Biblical Expectations for Fathers

1. Every father needs to know the heavenly Father

I have come to believe that you can’t be a godly father until you know the Heavenly One. There is a unique love and identity that is formed and can only come from our relationship with God. He teaches men to father.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:18, “I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty.” We see that the word “Father” appears 15 times in the Old Testament, but over 100 times in the Gospel of John, making clear that this is a very emphasized role.

2. Every father needs a spiritual father

Secondly, I believe that every dad needs a spiritual mentor. This is especially true when your earthly example of a father was not one you’d prefer to follow. While your earthly father you may not have been able to choose, you can still choose a spiritual environment where you’re guided toward godliness—through leaders, pastors, books, videos, or community.

The Bible emphasizes this 1 Corinthians 4:15 by saying, “Though you may have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers.” Be intentional in choosing someone who can pour into you and help you mature into the man you were called to be.

3. Every father first needs to be a good man

Next, we see that the Bible says both in 1 Kings 2:2 and 1 Corinthians 13:11 that there is a need to be mature. In other words, while you’re born male, you become a man by choosing discipline. There are traits that set boy and men apart:

• Boys are passive; men are responsible.
• Boys live for the moment; men plan for the future.
• Boys speak; men acts.
• Boys demands; men serve.

4. God wants fathers to turn their hearts toward their children

Another important trait that a godly father has an attentive heart for his children. Malachi 4:6 says that this something God will do, “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children.”

This is extremely important as the USA has the highest rate of single-parent homes—23%, compared to 7% globally. This has serious repercussions as children with absent fathers are more likely to suffer in nearly every area of life.

5. A godly father loves the mother of his children

Aside from having a heart for your kids, the best thing you can do for your kids is love their mother. Ephesians 5:25 commands husband’s to do this saying, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church.”

6. Christian father loves and cares for his children

Now, another important aspect about fatherhood goes beyond the physical. In Psalm 103:13 and 1 John 3:1 we see examples of God’s loving nature. In other words, I believe that godly fatherhood is not just about disciplining. It extends further and includes affirming and loving your children. It’s that extra emotional connection that prevents wounds and brings healing.

7. A godly father provides for his children

The Bible also makes a point in Matthew 7 and 1 Timothy 5:8 to teach us that providing for your family as a man is not an option, but an important and core responsibility. In fact, the Bible teaches that to neglect this is to deny the faith.

8. Fathers ought to instruct their children

Additionally, the role of a godly father means that you are also your child’s teacher and pastor. There is a responsibility according to the Word of God to instruct them in righteousness, integrity, purity, and godliness (Proverbs 4:1-2).

9. Fathers ought to discipline their children

It’s also important to note that while loving your children is important, being able to discipline them in love is equally as important. Proverbs 13:24 teaches us that loving discipline is crucial. However, discipline should never be done in anger.

I would also encourage you to use tools not your hand to discipline, and always act with calmness and care.

10. Fathers, don’t provoke your children to anger

Lastly, don’t discipline out of rage, shame, or control. Respect their boundaries, especially as they grow. Don’t speak death or use Scripture manipulatively. The Bible tells fathers in Ephesians 6:4 to “Do not provoke your children to wrath.” While getting angry is a part of life and bound to happen, how we react and the words that come out of our mouth are what we will be accountable for.

I pray these give you great insight into the role of a godly father according to Scripture. May the Lord guide you as you raise your children.